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Trevor, Kat, Sarah and I had all gathered for a BBQ at my dad's place. My dad and I go out to the shed to drag the BBQ out. Inside the shed, I point out to dad that there is not one, but two hornet's nests tucked up against the roof. He mutters something akin to "not for long" and we continue tugging the gorgeous piece of meat-grilling machinery out onto the patio.
Quick rant here, if you'll indulge me. I won that BBQ in a raffle once. It's a $1500 Napoleon stainless steal BBQ complete with an automatic chicken rotisserie. I'm damn proud of that BBQ as it's really the only thing I've ever won. Since I was living in an apartment at the time, I told my dad he could hang onto it for me until I have a house one day and can use it myself. So dad takes the BBQ, gives his BBQ to Trevor, and Trevor gives his garage sale BBQ to me. And I have to buy the propane tank myself. That free BBQ ended up costing me $60.
Okay, back to the story. As previously mentioned, my dad muttered "not for long". I didn't take much notice of that statement at the time because I was stressing out over the stains on my beautiful BBQ. Once we had it in place on the patio, I begin fussing about cleaning it up for dinner while my dad slinks off towards the garage. Moments later he comes back with a 2x4 and a mission.
It doesn't take me long to figure out his maniacal plan. My usually calm, intelligent father was afflicted with the classic "man solves problem with a big stick" paradigm... whilst in a small shed with only one exit, two hornet nests, and likely three hundred pissed off bees.
Inside, Sarah has heard the unfolding drama and gathers TreKat to the window to witness the showdown.
I quickly try to run interference:
Me: "What are doing?! They're going to sting you!!"
Dad (nonchalent): "It's fine."
Me: "There are TWO nests!!"
Dad (annoyed): "Julie, stop being dramatic."
Me: "Do you know if you're allergic? You can die if you get too many stings!"
Dad (confident, nearly in the shed now): "They'll have to catch me first."
Clearly my dad thinks he's invincible so at this point all I can do is run to at the very least save myself. I hop inside the kitchen to join the viewing gallery.
Moments later, dad comes running out the shed and we let him inside, too. He's pouting and genuinely surprised at this unexpected outcome of his heroism. Like it hadn't occurred to him that the hornets would be less than impressed with him destroying their house(s).
Dad: "The little bastards stung me".
Us: "No!/ What?/ Really!/ Seriously?"
Dad: "Shut up."
