Costa Rica - Day 6 - Arenal to Manuel Antonio

For our last night in Arenal, it piss poured rain all night so none of us slept particularly well.  It was still raining the next morning when we woke up, and Arenal volcano wasn't even visible with the fog.  We had a quick breakfast before our driver Tony came to pick us up for 7:30am.  I managed to run over to the pool to get a quick picture before we departed:

 Our original itinerary had us visiting Poas Volcano and a Coffee plantation along the long route from Arenal to Manual Antonio, but Tony suggested that we skip the volcano considering we wouldn't be able to see it anyway.  He suggested that a better destination would be the Peace Lodge Sanctuary, which was a privately owned animal sactuary. I was immediately excited, and far more interested in animals than another volcano, but the other girls weren't all as convinced as I was.  Luckily we are a very diplomatic group, and once Sabina joined my 'hard yes' side, the other girls were convinced that they would come too.

Before we wound our way up the mountain to the Lodge's entrance, Tony pulled off the side of the road so that we could see the Peace Waterfall.  We would be able to see it once in the lodge anyway, but this view point was really impressive.  With the massive rain fall from the night before, the water was just bursting  from the mountain.  It was quite brown and absolutely massive.  The water drop was...let's say a billion feet high...and had a force of...let's say a billion...um...pounds.  I don't know, but it was pretty freaking awesome.

The lodge was just beautiful, and you can actually stay there (which I definitely will if I ever go back to this area in Costa Rica).  Even the bathrooms were spectacular.

The first pavilion we visited was their series bird rooms. All of them were very large and full of gardens and waterfalls.  They were separated into areas, the first of which was for the smaller song birds.  We were able to just stroll through the room with the birds free range around us.  A little further into this room, there was a sectioned off area with toucans and some Lodge workers.  I never realized how much I loved toucans before coming to Costa Rica and seeing them in real life.  I was just as excited to see them as I was to see wild monkeys.  The toucans were a collection of confiscated pets, un-rehabitable animals, and bred in captivity birds.  In this area workers let us each hold one.  

Just a couple steps closer...and I'm
gonna shit all down your arm...

They are similar in weight to a macaw but their beaks are pretty solid.  I think holding that toucan was one of the highlights of my trip.  which is saying a lot when you're in Costa Rica.  There were a good 20+ toucans in that room, some on the ground, some with the works, and a few above us in the rafters.  Just as we were about to head out to continue our tour, one of them pooped down Caroline's arm!  It looked like oatmeal.  Luckily she was wearing a rain jacket.  

 



 The rest of the bird area had a variety of parrots, a few Canadian-looking ducks, a random albino squirrel, and a variety of other birds that were beautiful but we were unfamiliar with.  Then it was onto the hummingbirds.  At this point in our trip, hummingbirds were beginning to get as unexciting as pigeons in Toronto, but they are always a good challenge to photograph, those zippy little buggers.  

The butterfly enclosure was next, and despite the dusty framed collection of dead butterfly's that lined the foyer into the enclosure, inside it was significantly more beautiful and significantly less creepy.  I'd been to the butterfly conservatory in Niagara Falls before, but it has nothing on this place.  There were tons of butterfly's everywhere.  One even landed on me for a little while!  Think of all the brightest butterfly's you've ever seen in photos, and they were all there. The staff puts out slices of fruit out for the butterfly's to drink from, and since they're so accustomed to people, you can get close enough to them to check out their long spiraled tongues.  There was another section where they had a board of pupa's pinned in groups according to species.  There were a few butterfly's that had just emerged and were resting on their name plates while their wings straightened out.  

The next pavilion were the snakes.  Costa Rica has a lot of snakes, and most of them are terrifying.  I'm not a squeamish person, and I've held plenty of snakes, but there is definitely something about their eyes that is unsettling...especially when the word "venomous" is printed on their name plates.  What's more, these are all snakes that are roaming around Costa Rica, potentially plotting to kill us.  The most interesting part of the snake exhibit was the sign mounted on the wall that debunks many commonly believed snake 'facts'.  I wish I had taken a picture of it for prosperity, but the things that I remember are:

• Not all venomous snake bites are venomous.  They might be 'dry' bites, meaning they've recently attacked something else and their supply hasn't replenished, or they just didn't inject you.
• The actual amount of snake bites each is remarkably low, and most of those are from bare-footed field workers who step on the snakes.
• More people die from the anti-venom than the actual bite.  Anti-venom is made by injecting small amounts of venom into horses, and the horses antibodies are then removed.  Those people allergic to horses (myself included) could go into anaphylactic shock from the remedy. 

The frog rooms were short and sweet. The rooms were open with one attendant in each to answer questions and point out their frogs to you. The rooms were really warm and smelled like rotting fruit, thanks to the bananas kept on the ground to feel the bugs, which in turn feed the frogs. The first of two had a couple varieties of poison dart frogs. The mini red ones were all around the pond in the centre of the room, while the green and black camo frogs were around the perimeter of the rooms in the plants.  We were told that another reason why you cannot touch the frogs -aside from their poison- is the our temperature is so high to them that they'll burn on contact!  The second room contained lime green tree frogs.  These are the guys that rain forests are known for, and it was quite difficult to find them all.  The attendant in that room said she takes about an hour at the start of her shift to rummage around and find them all since they're so great at camouflage.  

The next part of the Lodge was what we were really here to see...monkeys and jaguars!  The capuchin monkeys were very cute, but the spider monkeys wouldn't cooperate for a photograph. They were too high up in their tree house and just not interested in coming to see us.  Their information board told us that their disappearance from the wild is staggering, having gone down 76% in the last decade.  I guess that's why there's not too interested in pleasing the tourists.

The Ocelots were very cute.  They were all cuddled up together in a high hollowed out trunk.  They first groomed each other, then purred for a while, then randomly fought for for a minute.  They were bigger than house cats obviously, but not as big as I had thought they would be.  Still a very huggable size though, if not for the 4" of plexiglass between us. There were two cougars in a really big cage, complete with waterfall.  They were a bit too far back from the glass for us to get a good picture of them, but it was great to see what a beautiful house they had.

There were also some Margays, which are very similar to the Ocelots, though they primarily live higher in the trees, have slightly different markings and body proportions, but seemed just as huggable.  They were sleeping in the same type of tree house that the Ocelots were in.  They were fast asleep, but when I circled around back of their cage afterward I noticed they had emerged, so I ran back to get a proper photo.  They also had a kitten that was separated, and this one was the size of a house cat.  I tried desperately to coax him awake, but he just slept there with his head upside down all adorable-like.

The Jaguar was not huggable.  Not even a little.  He was downright terrifying.  His head was a big square cinderblock and the sign next to him said he could crush our skulls with one chomp.  Because he knew he was the boss, he was chilling out on a stump very close to the glass keeping one eye on us at all times.  It was getting pretty close to his feeding time, so I bet he was sizing us up, daydreaming about which one of us he'd eat first.  They were in the midst of building a new pen right next to his, and I imagine the fumes of paint were affecting him.  Nothing more scary than a huge, hungry, and high jungle cat.

Our last stop along the path there was a typical Costa Rican cabana that you could go inside to check out. They had a pair of decorated oxen out front and a regular house cat inside.  That was good, because after all the fuzzy cuteness I had just experienced I really needed to pet something. 

After we had been through all the animal exhibits we made our way to the waterfalls.  They have a series of 4 or 5 great big water falls with paths and bridges to observe them from.  A sign informed us that they built all these paths and bridges without removing a single tree, plant or vine!  They hand carried all supplies and equipment down the hill to as not to hurt or disturb the nature environment.  That is a crazy impressive feat considering how steep and slippery the area is.  I cannot even comprehend how they even began that project, but I find it highly respectable.  

Costa Rica Day 4 - Arenal

We woke up pretty early to make good on the free buffet breakfast. It was a hearty meal well needed after our 10 minute trek uphill to the main lodge. Each day there was a variety of tropical fruits and fresh juices, typical Costa Rica fare such as fried plantains and beans and rice, as well as pancakes, donuts, scrambled eggs, toast, cereal, tea and coffee. We ate our breakfast in front of a huge picture window facing Arena Volcano. The staff hung fruit in the trees so we had some toucans and other colourful birds as entertainment as well. 

The road from our cabin to the lodge

After breakfast we hung put on the deck a bit to take photos when a coatimundi joined us and caught a wiff of the banana I had packed into my bag. I tried to shoo him away, but he was determined and managed to open my bags zipper with his snout. He sat there and ate it under a big sign that clearly read "Don't feed the animals" while a bunch of guests laughed and took photos.

The goal of the day was to hike up Cerro Chato. Of the hikes available in Arenal, this was rated 'difficult' and was estimated to take 4 hours. We had a beautiful day with perfect weather and set off down the road. 

There was a half hour hike to the start of the trail and we saw some bizarre cows in a field on the way there. I called them "cow-mels" but we later found out they are called something like 'Vamya'.

Cow-mel = Vamya

Our hike started uphill and lasted that way for 2.5 hours. I was so glad to have brought a hiking pole, if only for this hike alone. We were consistently climbing, using the tree roots sometimes as steps, sometimes as ladders. It was pretty challenging for all of us, but especially for Sabina who had dislocated her knee only a few days before our vacation. We stopped a lot for breathers, disguised as an interest in taking photos. It was beautiful though and felt like we were in Jurassic Park.

Once we reached the top of the crater there was a look out over the centre, which is now a mineral-rich lake. In order get down to the water we had to hike some more around the edge, which was hilariously muddy. I think I did a decent job of keeping my shoes clean while everyone else destroyed theirs. Caroline in particular just walked through the swamps.

The path down to the centre was even steeper than the mountain we hiked up. It was so steep it was nearly vertical and we slipped a few times. When the odd fellow hiker tried to make their way up the crater, it was difficult to accommodate both bodies on the narrow path.

Finally, at the bottom we were so incredibly sweaty and muddy that Sandra, Christine, Heidi ad Sabina couldn't resist and jumped in. Theoretically I would have loved to jointed but despite the sweat, it was just too cold for me. Caroline and I were content to just wading knee demand take photos. The guidebook warn tat swimming isn't a great idea due to the minerals so they didn't stay in for too long.

After the near-treacherous climb to the top we rested at another scenic look out and were able to photograph the entire Arena Volcano, which only 40% of visitors get to see! While there we chatted with some other tourists and guides, and they shared their snacks with us.

We then began our hike down the other side of the volcano. This route was still somewhat steep but no where close to what we'd already gone through. it was a good hour before we emerged from the forest, but as we were soon to find utter a good 2 hours from reaching the finishing at Fortunate Falls. This 'home stretch' took us through a farmers field that was lumpy with huge mogles. It was honestly worse to walk through than the initial climb!

I swam in that!

We reached La Fortuna waterfall and I surprised everyone by not only getting into the cold water, but also being the first to do it. I was regretting not swimming in the crater of a volcano and was dog-determined not to miss out again. The water fall was beautiful and huge. We swam a bit in the first pool before opting to go into the safer second pool instead, where the current was significantly less strong.

Our day was capped off by a visit to the thermal hot springs. We purposely paired our first major hike with a soak in the thermal hot springs and it was wonderful! We were sore, stinky, and tired and we deserved it! We arrived just after dark (which isn't hard when the sun sets before 6pm) and the scenery was just incredible. The hot Springs themselves were natural, but had pools built around them. A total of 6 pools ranging from boiling to hot, and one cool pool made up most of their facilities, with lawn chairs around the decks. The pools flowed into each other via waterfall and one pool had a lava-hot spot on the ground that burnt your foot if you left it there too long. We jumped from tub to tub for over an hour and finished our session by hanging out on the pool chaises. 

Costa Rica Day 5 – Arenal

This was our laziest day during our whole trip, which worked out well because it rained on an off all day. That didn't stop Heidi, though, she took off for a white water rafting trip, while the rest of us kept close to the lodge for the day. Sabina elected to take it easy on her poor knee after the strenuous hike the day before, while Caroline, Christine, Sandra and I set off for a 2.5 hike around the Arenal Lodge grounds: 

We didn't have much luck in seeing animals (specifically the fluffy kind) during our hike, but we did manage to learn quite a few interesting things about plants:

• 

  Borrowed from:
  http://www.htbg.com/search.php?family=Marantaceae

  The 'corn-like' plant is actually called a snake plant, in honour of the serpents who tend to loiter around it. The concave petals fill up with rain water that you can drink, and hummingbirds are attracted to it as well...hence the presence of snakes. A hydrated hummingbird is a tasty hummingbird.
• If you happen to be bitten by a venomous snake you should lay still and have a friend fetch help. If you move too much the venom may get to your heart before you find a doctor.

• 

  borrowed from: http://www.flickriver.com/photos/tags/shameplant/interesting/

  The 'sleeping plant' droops if you touch it, as a defense against insects. You can also make a paste of of the leaves to use as an anesthetic for tooth aches. It was really fun petting the leaves of this plant and watching them all wilt simultaneously.

• Eucalyptus trees were introduced to Costa Rica somewhat recently because they grow very fast, very straight and very thick and are therefore used for lumber instead of the native rainforest trees. Our guide compared a very tall eucalyptus tree to its neighbour and told us that the significantly taller eucalyptus was only 20 years old, while the native tree was over 100. As well, the eucalyptus doesn't support any other plants growing on it, whereas the native trees hold untold amounts of additional vegetation.

• Likewise, North American Pine trees were introduced because they shield strong wind. Arenal has planted a bunch on their site because the lodge it on top of a hill and they kept control the wind. Unlike the eucalyptus, pine trees allow other plants to grow on them like their native counterparts. The Costa Rican electricity department (called ICE, which is funny to see painted on posts and rocks in the too-humid city) tried to use them for telephone and electricity poles but the 16 varieties of woodpeckers have rendered them unsafe now. They are in the process of replacing them all now.

• 

  Borrowed from:
  http://fireflyforest.net/firefly/2006/07/21/epiphytes/

  Bromeliads often grow on other trees and collect water. Tree frogs and mosquitoes both use them to lay their eggs in.  

Those triangles above his eyes are pretty eyelashes

Towards the end of our hike our guide pointed out a long thin snake curled up in on a tree stump/light post. We were allowed to take photos of him so long as we kept the flash off so as not to frighten him. I got up very close to use my macro setting, and right after me a 10 year old girl photographed him, but used her flash. This is when the guide casually mentioned that this was the eyelash viper, one of the more venomous species in Costa Rica. If it had bit either of us, the venom could potentially have rendered us blind before paralyzing our muscles, ultimately stopping our lungs, heart and brain. Thanks tour guide!

After we dried off from our guide and had lunch, we got ready and cabbed into town to meet up with Heidi. We had a really great dinner at the Lave Lounge and headed home to get a decent sleep in before our early morning transfer the next morning

Costa Rica Day 3 - Monteverde to Arenal

Another early morning for us as we set off to hike the cloud forest at 8am.  The guide we had booked had his car break down the night before but luckily his partner was the son of our cabin's owner. Javier is also rated very highly in TripAdvisor so we weren't upset.

Getting to the conservation area was kind of interesting too, because we had to drive the circumference of the valley to get there. Along the way Javier told us how although Costa Rica is an incredibly small country, it holds 5% of the worlds biodiversity. This is because when Pantagia split, it separated all the animals and plants that were on it. Millions of years later when the land was pushed back together again the animals were reintroduced but many had already adapted separately.  He also described how the desert forest, rain forest and cloud forests are different, but given Costa Rica's various altitudes and climate changes, there are many micro-forests between them that can change within a few metres apart.

these little buggers are hard to photograph!

The first thing we did at the cloud forest was check out the humming birds at the feeder.  There were about 4 different breeds of humming birds there while we were watching and I learned that that they are as agile as bees because their wings do figure eights.  They are therefore able to fly backwards and upside down.  Also, their heart rate while sleeping is the same as humans.

Plant on a plant on a plant(x100) on a tree

Once inside the cloud forest Javier told us how since only 1% of light reaches the forest floors, some plants have adapted to be symbiotic or parasitic of other plants. He showed us how plants can stack up on top of another like Mertle the Turtle all the way up to the
canopy.  Some of these plants don't  harm their host at all, some actually help them, and others just leech off them until they die. Those ones aren't all that bad either because when a tree dies off and falls to the ground, not only does it bring more nutrients to the ground but also opens up a hole in the canopy that shines light down to  give other plants the chance to grow.  The hole is usually filled in about 5 years.

We had heard about the quetzal from our guide books but didn't consider that we'd actually see one as we were at the tail end of their migratory season (pun!).  Javier started telling us about them though, and led us to a section of the forest where he had seen a female the day before with a man who was visiting Costa Rica specifically to go bird watching. To Javier's extreme pleasure we not only saw the female, but also the more elusive male.

Turquoise-faced bird thing

 That pretty much ended our hike.  We spent the rest of our hour hike set up with binoculars and cameras to track their every movement.  We grabbed other hikers off the trail to look at them as well, and got several photos and a video.  As much as it's pretty cool to have seen such a rare and beautiful bird, I would have preferred to have continued the hike and tried to see other wildlife.  If we hadn't  known that this particular bird was so rare, we would have just said 'wow, that's a pretty bird' and moved on.



On the way back to our cabin we stopped to grab lunch at a place called Taco Taco and bought some seriously amazing food. We brought it back to eat on our patio before quickly packing to head to our next destination.

The Welcome Rainbow

The ride to Arenal was particularly long and difficult by car, so we had to take a taxi, boat, then taxi again to get there. Because of the missing money we were late getting to our first junction, and so our cab driver really hauled ass. Sabina and I both felt the repercussions of that and needed to pop gravel, which knocked us out for a good portion of the trip. When we arrived to the boat section of our trip we were met with a rainbow:
The boat was pretty uneventful but it interested me to learn that Lake Arenal is man-made for the purpose of supporting electrical dams.  It also reminded us that Javier said 9% of that lake consisted of water collected and held from moss in the rainforest. I'll need to look that one up though because it seems strange to me now.

Our taxi driver brought us to Arenal Observatory Lodge where we were escorted to our rooms at the bottom of hill.  I bunked with Caroline, Sandra with Christine, and Heidi with Sabina. After settling in we walked 10 minutes up hill to the lodge, begrudging the decision to reserve the cheap rooms, and had dinner in their restaurant.

So far we were very impressed with AOL. The lodge was beautifully landscaped, the food very good, and it had the overall resemblance to a resort. After dinner we made our way over a hanging bridge to their pool and jacuzzi and spent the rest of the evening relaxing and chatting to other guests.

Costa Rica Day 2 - Monteverde

Our early start wasn't that bad due to a combination of early night and two competitive roosters outside our windows.  Jose brought us a delicious Costa Rica breakfast consisting of beans and rice, scrambled eggs, fried plantains, tropical fruit salad, fresh pineapple juice and strong coffee.

Our ride arrived promptly at 7am and we made our way to Salventura for canopy tours and zip lining.  Because we were there so early the six of us had the whole 3 km of hiking trails and hanging bridges to ourselves.  We managed to take over 2 hours to meander along it, stopping to photograph nearly each and every leaf. Along the way I couldn't help but take a moment to reflect on how thankful I was to be there, to experience the beauty, to appreciate all that I have that put me in a position to be able to make the choice to travel to Costa Rica. I considered how soul soothing it is to be able to leave your slice of the world to see other country, other people, and other environments. Being immersed in the overwhelmingly lush forest really makes me appreciate life and the intricacies of nature.  Even just one day out of my banal life style really pursuit all into perspective and rejeuvenates my soul.  This is why I travel.

After our hike we waited for the next zip lining excursion by having a cafe con leche on the porch.  we were shuffled into a room to get outfitted with a harness, helmet and oversized leather gardening gloves that reaked of previous adrenaline and sweat. We drove partway up a hill and walked the rest where we had a quick introduction to zipline safety: sit back, knees crossed, weak hand on your front rope, and strong hand behind you on the cable.  Never grab the cable in front of you other you will loose a finger.  Okay, let's go!

Our first zipline was considered short and slow...kind of like a test to see if you had listened toothed rules.  To us, it was just exhilarating.  It was about 75 feet long and pretty fast.  We zipped through the canopy easily, with the trees framing our path.  I was grinning like an idiot when I reached the second platform, and my grin then grew even more idiotivpcally as I saw my first monkey trapesing along above us!  I triumphantly shouted to everyone else on the patform about his presence but no one else cared.  The guide sees them everyday, and Sandra was too busy freaking out over the next zip to care about a bloody monkey.

All together we did 13 or 14 zip lines, often from one platform straight to the next, but occasionally with a short jaunt on the ground between them.  I loved every moment, the longer and faster the better.  only Christine and I seemed to have no qualms with the extreme height we were at.  I found it simply interesting to look down and marvel at how heigh we were in the trees, but looking down just stressed the other girls out.  I will openly admit my pride at having no fear of height, especially in contrast to my unreasonable disdained for old water and inability to handle a bumpy car ride. Our very last zip line was a full kilometre long, and although I would have gladly gone on my own, it was necessary to go two by two to ensure we had enough weight to glide ourselves across.  As it was, Caroline and I didn't quite make the platform and had to be towed in by a poor guide. Sandra and Christine were even further back than we ended up and the guide had to take two breaks while fetching them.  Apparently it was a bit too windy when we crossed to maintain the proper speed.  Sandra and Christine sailed straight through a patch of clouds while gliding across, which was pretty awesome to watch.

After all the zip lines were complete we had the opportunity to do a Tarzan swing.  It was really awesome! We bought the pack of professional photos and a couple souvenirs from the gift shop before heading to Santa Helena, the closest little town.

While waiting for the van to come pick us up we had an exciting new animal spotting. Two cotimundi's boldly crossed in front of all the tourists (amidst an explosion of flashing lenses) and began digging for grubs next to the giftshop. They were the size of small dogs with long sleek bodies and tails.  I thought they looked cuddly until they started fighting and let out god-awful screeches.

In town we checked out a restaurant built around a tree before heading to a restaurant for lunch. It is true about beer being cheaper than water here.  I had a filet mignon that should have fed two people, and it cost the equivalent of $14.  Before heading back to the cabin we went by the grocery store for some cheese, ice cream, bread, wine, and fruit (aka diner).  The goal was to watch the sunset over the mountains from the infinitely policy, but when we got home, we found the pool a bit too cold and the sun didn't set over that side of the maintain.  Oh well, we still had a good time around the pool and in the sauna, and of course our little dinner back home. We spent the rest of the night chatting, drinking, and colouring, just as adults are meant to do on vacation.

Costa Rica - November 2013

Costa Rica Day 1 - Toronto, Panama, San Jose, Monteverde

The morning started out poorly.  Aside from not being able sleep, I misplaced my phone and was therefore unable to call a cab at 5:45am as I had intended. After turning the house upside down I finally found it while dumping my pack for literally the 4th time. I managed to get to the airport fairly quickly due to the early hour and was surprisingly not the last one there.  Sandra had slept-in in Waterloo so she and Sabina arrived a good half hour after me. At this time I was pretty queasy from my drivers erratic driving.  

The flight was pretty uneventful as far as flights go.  We had a brief stop over in Panama and I was concerned about the water on their coast.  It looked like a great field of dry cracked mud where the water used to be, and there were sections of brown then orange water before it morphed into green and blue.

 Not sure what is going on there. The river that snaked up Into the land was about half as wide as it clearly used to be, with grass growing alongside the otherwise thick trees. Other than that, Panama looked beautifully lush and green.  Definitely seems like a future trip to me!   At the Panama airport I had a fun exchange with a cashier while trying to buy a tea.  Luckily there was a bilingual man behind me who sorted out the situation for us.  

Once we had landed in Costa Rica we were met by a man who shook our hands and brought us to our prearranged car.  He put our bags into the trunk and then asked for a tip.  We thought he was our driver and gave him $15 and then found out he wasn't. Jerk. Our real driver was very nice and drove us the 2.5-3 hour trek to Monteverde. Most of the way there was over a new highway, past numerous fruit stands and small restaurants decorated in Christmas lights.  I fell asleep for a bit and woke up to a pretty heavy rain storm. It lasted an hour or so then trailed off.

About 25km out of the city the pavement ended and we had to climb our way up the mountain.  All gravel, all twists and turns, and periodically only wide enough for our oversized van, we were all regretting the suspicious chicken burger we'd eaten on the plane. Right as the pot holes began to get rough enough for us to believe we were actually on a rollercoaster we turned into Cabin El Sol.

A lady greeted us at the driveway with a hug and a kiss and led us into probably the most adorable cabin ever built.  You walk over a bridge to the front porch and enter into the wooden cabin.  Full kitchen, breakfast bar, eating area, living room, sitting room, with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

We had 3 bottles of wine waiting for us and shortly after we settled in, a man showed up with a picnic basket with our traditional Costa Rican meal.  After a long day of travel and relentless motion sickness, it was heaven. Knowing that our zip lining and tree trecking began at 7am the next day we went to bed at 9:30.

Falling into the pond

When my sister read my last post about falling through the ice, she reminded me of another time I fell into a body freezing cold water.  Here's what happened:

I was about 12 or 13 years old and we were at that adolescent stage where there's nothing fun to do;  Too old to "play" and too young to have money to go anywhere.  The only thing we could come up with to fill our time was hanging out at Twin Ponds.  As the name suggests, Twin Ponds are a set of man-made ponds that are separated by a road in Brampton.  They are a fairly decent size but an unreasonable bylaw prevents anyone from using it to swim, skate or fish.  The only thing they were good for was sitting on the big rocks that frame it, and light fires by aid of WD49.  (Remember we were 12/13 years old!  Our brains weren't fully developed yet!!)

The one other thing that drew me to Twin Lakes was they were right behind the house where a crush of mine lived. 

On a cold November afternoon, a few friends, one crush, one can of WD40, one lighter, and myself were hanging out on the rocks.  We were amusing ourselves by spaying WD40 in a pattern on the rocks, lighting the end of it, and watching the fire consume our designs before it starved out.  This may also have been the time we learned that fire will travel UP the spray and into the can....quickly remedied by launching the can into the lake.

At some point I must have found something particularly funny and I leaned back with a hearty laugh. This bold move -likely a combination of my natural grace and agility, or designed to draw attention to myself- culminated in me toppling off the rock into the fridged November waters below. The pond wasn't deep enough around the shore to threaten my life; only my pride, which was deeply hurt.

Once my friends had finished howling at my predicament, I hobbled out of the water and we made our way back to my crushes house.  Wanting to die from embarrassment, his mother traded my soggy frozen clothes for his clothes and then called my mom to pick me up. Both ladies enjoyed a laugh at my expense together and I was brought home to a rendition of "under the sea" by my loving brother and sister.

When I Fell Through Ice

Spending New Years at Aunt Lorna's cottage has been tradition for several years now.  It's a winterized cottage on a reasonably secluded lake, complete with sauna and outdoor hot tub.  A dozen or so of our friend's gather here each year and have a pseudo-quiet weekend of board games, movies, fancy-pants meals, shooting pop cans with bb-guns, kitchen dance parties and scary midnight ice walks. 

I'm sure most of my friends make no bones about it, but in truth, the ice walks terrify me. What otherwise could be portrayed as a romantic starlit walk is more of a battle of bravery and determination for me. I internally obsess over the depth of freezing cold water beneath us. Every step is marked with a crunch of snow, and every few feet we progress lets out a moan of cracking ice. I pray nearly the whole way.  But each year I go along for the stroll, perhaps just to renew a healthy sense of respect for nature into my soul.

In 2008 Laurie, Justin and I went for a walk on the ice just after sunset. Instead of venturing off to the other side of the lake, we opted to stick closer to the cottage. Not far from the cottage, the ice suddenly gave way and swallowed my entire right leg. I screamed and yelled "help me!" as my best friend ran off to the shore. I'll forgive her since she was two months pregnant at the time. Luckily her husband wasn't a jerk and pulled me out before the lake decided to finish me off.

My leg was soaked and nearly frozen through by the time we got back to the cottage. I threw open the front door to announce to our friends that I had just stared death in the eye...but I barely interrupted the intense domino game growing on the dinning room table. No one was particularly impressed other to impart a quick science lesson on me: "Didn't you know ice is thinner near the shore?"

My friends are jerks. Except Justin.  We're still cool.

The Significance of the Back of the Bus

Back in grade 7 or 8, we were going on a ski trip and had been corralled like cattle into the GP room to wait for the buses to arrive.  The room was thick with anticipation, both for the actual trip and to see who would get the back of the bus.

- Quick pause for those of you who have never been bussed to school.  Seating on a school bus is like a hierarchy of coolness.  Like chickens sorting out their pecking order, so too are tweens in determining the seating arrangement of a bus. -

Back in the GP room, I was front and center at the closed door, fiddling with the metal latch to control my tension.  Little to my knowledge, the buses had arrived out front and the teachers, having heard the excited din of the auditorium, were strategically arranging themselves so as not to get trampled.

Suddenly -with my thumb still in the metal latch- the doors were flung open, tearing my thumbnail nearly clean off.

I ran at the head of the stampede...both out of searing pain and stubborn determination to stake my claim.  Once my gear was safely guarding the most coveted of all vinyl benches, I had to wait for the rest of the bus to fill up before I could do anything about my mangled thumb.  

As soon as I was able, I bee-lined for the office.  At this point my thumb was on fire and shooting flaming needles up my arm.  The nail was now only partially lodged in my nail bed and the soft white flesh underneath was curdling with blood and oil. I threw open the office door and as my vision went black and my hearing faded I shouted "I need Tylenol!"

Back then Tylenol counted as medicine so instead I got an orange juice box, a bandaid, and a stern suggestion to not go skiing.  Which I obviously ignored.

After a few hills my hands were too cold to register the pain anymore, but by the end of the day when I took off my glove, I left the thumbnail behind in the pocket of my mitten.

Such is the cost of popularity.

Here's "mud" in your eye!

This memory always make me laugh out loud (or LOL as the kids say).  If you ever see me just burst into laughter for no particular reason, it is safe to assume this is what I'm thinking about.  Hopefully writing it out can do the story justice, as most of the awesomeness results from knowing Jessica and having the pleasure of being there to bare witness.  Jessica is one of those unfortunate people who this kind of 'thing' always seems to happen to.  Luckily she has one of the best sense of humour that I know of, so even though she is a marked woman, she handles it with admirable grace.

The aforementioned Jessica and I were driving around Brampton in her unnecessarily large truck one afternoon, chatting away.  She had the window cracked a bit because she's a hopeless smoker.  Without warning, the windshield becomes covered in a pterodactyl-sized amount of bird crap and Jessica starts howling.  I'm laughing because the amount of shit smeared on the window really is impressive, but glancing over to share the joke with her, I see that after the load hit the windshield, it splattered around and was sucked into the open window where it met Jessica's face!  Luckily for her she was wearing sunglasses at the time, but one lens, her cheek and some hair were smeared in runny bird turd.

It was awesome.   Haha, I'm LOLing again.

My Homeless People Stories

I've lived in Toronto for the better part of a decade now (cripes I'm getting old!) and as most city-dwellers will admit, dealing with homeless people is pretty much a part of your daily activity.  Startling at first, you feel terrible for them and always hand over your "spare" change, but the unfortunate truth is that you do tend to start ignoring the requests for help.  There really are too many Shaky Lady's and Sticker Lady's out there, or the type of homeless who are only homeless on nice days during rush hour.  Every Torontonian has at least a couple stories of shocking encounters with the homeless.  Here are mine:

• Back when I was a fresh first year university student still living at home and commuting to Ryerson, I was asked outside of a Tim Horton's for spare change.  As I was (and still am) in the habit of using primarily electronic money, I didn't actually have any cash on me.  He did not take kindly to this, as demonstrated by his screaming "BITCH!" at me and scrambling to his feet.  I ran. 

• At another Ryerson street corner, a bunch of students were waiting for the light to change, and a homeless lady pushed her way into the middle of the crow, pulled up her long skirt, popped a squat and proceeded to urinate right there.  The whole crowd dispersed instantly, pushing each other onto the road to avoid the stream.

• While working near Queen and John I went for a coffee break at Second Cup across the street.  Being that I had a Second Cup card, I didn't bring my purse.  When an old homeless man asked me for money for food, I said I didn't have any money but I would get him a coffee.  "A coffee and a sandwich" he corrected me.  Fine.  Can't really tell him not to be greedy, can I?  So we walked across the street and when he realized where I was leading him, he starting screaming "No! Not there! NOOOO!" and ran like a bat out of hell, leaving me bewildered and red faced in a crowd of strangers with accusatory eyes. 

• Returning to work from lunch one afternoon, I happened upon an old homeless man who asked me for money to buy a drink.  I told him that whereas I didn't have any money, I would be happy to go get him a drink from upstairs.  He waited for me outside while I grabbed him a few cans of pop.  He was so encouraged by my thoughtfulness, that after receiving the drinks he thought he'd press his luck and ask me to make love to him.  Just remembering that hopeful offer makes me want to vomit a little.

Lying to my Mom

Though I pride myself these days as being honest to a fault, Lord knows I've done my fair share of lying in the past.  Likely even more than my fair share.  I am going to attribute that to being the middle child...not quite sure why, but I feel that my birth order gives me some leeway for being manipulative. 

Not surprisingly, I can list off a whole string of lies that I've told and been caught in, but today I feel a bit preoccupied by three lies in particular, varying degress of "so what?", and all of which were told to my mom.


In Kindergarten
Long before I learned to respect hygiene, I had to be reminded repeatedly to bring my gym clothes home to be washed.  My mom would tell me before I got on the school bus in the morning, and ask where they were when I got home in the afternoon.  Each day I would both forget to bring them home and be unconvinced why it was important to have clean shorts.  She tried a new tactic one day, of writing me a note and sticking it in my lunch bag.  Being that I was in kindergarten and just learning to read, the note was mostly comprised of the types of hyrogliphics that children can read.  It looked a little something like this:

I remember finding that note, reading that note, and liking that note.  I remember using my gym clothes, thinking about that note, and stuffing the note into my little red gym clothes bag with the sweaty garments after gym was done.  And then I remember going home without the bag, without the clothes, and without the note.  My mom was exasperated and wanted to now why I didn't bring them home this time.  I knew I was out of "I forgot's" so I resulted to an "I can't read" instead.  It was probably one of the first lies I told my mom and I remember feeling horribly guilty about it.

I'm pretty sure I brought them home the next day.

(here's another Kindergarten lie I've told)

In Middle School
This one is a bit on the silly/irrelevant side, but it's something that's stuck with me over the years.  I found a piece of maroon chain-mail once at a secondhand store.  I don't have a good reason why I liked it so much, other than it was fun to play with and tickled when you dragged it over your skin.  I used to keep it slung over the arm of my couch and liked to drape it over my face like a mask.  No excuses, I am a bit weird.  One Christmas during middle school my mom bought me a little black cocktail purse that had a patchwork of black, silver and white chain-mail decorating one side.  She was really excited to give it to me.  She said "It was expensive, but I knew you'd love it". I didn't really like it, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I said "thanks" and tucked it into my closet where it collected dust between the metal hoops for the next few years.

Now that I'm older I've grown to like it and every time I use it I get compliments on it.  However, using it always reminds makes me a bit sad.  That one purse has become an embodiment of all the things that I never appreciated or knew enough to acknowledge for my mother.  I wonder if she was disappointed at my lack of enthusiasm over the purse that she spent too much on, thinking that I'd love it.  I know in the grand scheme of things that even though she probably forgot about it before too long, I probably never will.

Strange how sometimes the small things get carried forward with you.



In Highschool
When I was in grade 9 we were entering a new school and meeting all kinds of new friends.  My parents were quite a bit more strict than most of my friends' parents.  My dad was clear on how he felt about me dating, I still had an enforced bedtime, and it was a struggle to convince them that I should be allowed to a sleep over at a friend's house.  On one special night, I managed to disobey all of the above policies.  Tammy's mother was away for the weekend and she was having a house party that nearly all of grade 9 was invited to.  I HAD to go.  It was imperative.  My girlfriends and I collaborated and each told our parents that we were sleeping over at each others houses.  All our parents knew each other so there was no need to call, check up on us, or ask too many questions.

 In hindsight, my parents were totally right in not wanting me to go to that sort of function.  If I was a weaker girl or had shitty friends I definitely could have gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble that night.  Some examples are:  Craig got high for the first time, and Richard he put an imaginary box on his head.  Craig was near tears.  I remember trying to reason with him that that was no box on his head, but one cannot reason with a high 14-year-old.  Laura at one point was dared to get into the dryer.  She did, and she fit perfectly, even with the door closed.  Luckily we were around to prevent people from being really stupid, and she emerged safely without incident.  A couple boys then suggested she go outside with them, and we dutifully went after her once we realized she was gone.  She returned without incident.  Mark decided he need to puke, a lot, and immediately.  Very few shoes escaped without incident that night.  My first boyfriend was also at that party, but he had a hockey game in the morning so his mother came to pick him up.  She allowed him to date, so she knew who I was, and she tried to drive me home.  I lied to her too, and said I was leaving soon with my girlfriends, but in fact we just spent the whole night at the party. 

For whatever unprecedented reason the universe came up with, early the next morning my mom needed to call me at my friend's house which turned into a chain of phone calls among our parents, dismantling our lies.  When I got home that afternoon:

Mom - Did you have fun last night?
Me - Yes.
Mom - Where were you again?
Me - Jackie's.
Mom - Wanna try that one again?
Me - Um...Tammy's?

And it all went downhill from there.

Some Ass Over Tea Kettle Memories

I can't even remember the last time I went skiing/boarding; all I know is there is a dry, rusty snowboard sitting angrily in my dad's cold cellar in Guelph and the foam around my goggles has started to crumble.  But with Toronto's recent snowmagedon, today's perfect weather, and --most importantly-- a free day pass with gear rentals (sorry cellar-captive board), we rented a car and headed to Mansfield to see if our knees were too old to handle a day on the hills.  Despite a few falls, I am happy to discover that snowboarding is just like riding a bicycle...only in that it all comes back easily, otherwise the two have absolutely nothing in common.

Being on the hill lead me to recall a couple fond skiing/boarding memories of yonder, which I'd like to share with anyone who stumbles upon my blog:


Story One - 
A leading cause as to how my friends and I caught the skiing bug in the first place, was back in middle school when our math teacher formed a Skiing Club.  Looking back now, it was a brilliant tactical maneuver on both his and our parts.  He was able indulge a personal passion and veneer it as extra curricular participation, all while skipping work for a day every three weeks during the winter.  Genius!  We were able to skip a day of school every three weeks during the winter months and mask it off as school spirit...and get exercise, learn a new sport, blah blah blah...but mostly skip school.  All that, plus my mom used to buy me a litre bottle of the sparkling flavoured water every time I went on a ski trip, so that was pretty special too.

On one of these such trips the skiing conditions were not so great, and Laurie had just passed her skills test to have free run of the park.  Sandra, Jackie and I decided that trial by fire was in order, and we led her straight to one of the black diamond runs.  Not only was the hill steep and covered in moguls, but unbeknownst to us it was also layered in a respectable sheet of ice.  We charged down that hill the way that only fearless tweens can, and that sheet of ice reached out and sucker punched Laurie.  Sandra stayed with her, but Jackie and I were at the bottom of the hill before we realized that she was hurt, and rushed back up to 'rescue' her.  The ice went for round two and tried to give us the same treatment it bestowed upon Laurie.  We both went ass over tea kettle and nearly took her out bowling ball style.  Luckily, our aim was as good as our skiing and we managed to avoid damaging her any further.  That trip ended with Laurie being put in a body bag and snowmobiled to the first aid room.  She was later found to have torn her ACL and needed to be on crutches for months afterwards.

Story Two - 
My second time ever snowboarding was at Lake Louise, because it seems I like punishment.  I rose to the occasion and was able to follow my born-in-Alberta friend Dale on nearly all the runs that day.  So impressed with my new found ability, he decided it would be a great denouement for our last run to be from the top of the mountain.  From that peak we'd be able to see all the mountains and nearly touch the sun.  Sounded like a good plan.

We took the ski lift for a good 15 minutes to what I thought was the top of the mountain, but it was actually only as far as the ski lift was capable of going.  From there we still had to board a t-bar and travel damn near vertically up the precipice.  Now, I know you're like "So what? They use t-bars on bunny hills", but to you I say using a t-bar on a snowboard is more difficult than using it on skis since you have to face sideways.  Furthermore, using a t-bar to go up an unreasonably steep slop is bloody hard on your muscles, particularly after a whole day of 'sink or swim' snowboarding.  And finally, to ice the damned cake, using a t-bar at the end of the day after a ton of people before you have carved ruts into the route with their skiis is nearly impossible.  I managed to get a third of the way up to the top of the mountain when my board caught a rut and my wussy arms couldn't re-balance me.  I. Just. Couldn't. Hang. On. Any. Longer.

So I bailed, but with the last of my energy I bailed to the side so as not to take out nearly every single person behind me.  Except for Dale.  He dove out of line in hopes of literally saving my neck, but instead, I just crashed into him and he joined my human snowball.

We flipped ass over tea kettle, picking up speed with our snowboards ratcheted to our feet, flailing all over.  The people in the line behind us were wide eyed and gasping in horror as we tumbled all the way back to the top of the chair lift.  Again, I know you're thinking "Big deal, I used to roll down hills all the time when I was a kid", but to you I say this hill was not a hill, it was a freaking MOUNTAIN.  And we tumbled with planks of metal rimmed wood strapped to our feet in a double human snowball forever...kilometres...hours...DAYS!  We were motion sick, bruised and disoriented when we finally stopped, and it's only by the grace of God that neither of us were broken or missing any teeth.  We called it a day after that.

Actually wait...I guess that's why I haven't been snowboarding in years.