A letter to my parents...GOLD

Here is a letter to my parents when I was 17.  The forward and all italics are from Sarah:

And I have something that I've been saving but thought it went well with your second last post and would share it. Dad dug this gem up over the summer. The junk in the brackets will be my mocking.

Why Julie deserves to be treated as a 17 year old

Responsible

• held down stead jobs since 15
• Maintains honours with straight A's
  never had a grade lower than a B
• babysat on regular basis on a Thursday night during school until 1 o'clock am and still managed to go to school on Friday (I imagine that if you didn't, you wouldn't have been allowed to keep that babysitting job)
• When given a time at night to come home at, always is home then or earlier
• Editor of yearbook
• represented all of grade 10 at Hoby Leadership workshop    (You had a lot of difficulty spelling Leadership there and couldn't be bothered to white it out or re-write the letter to fix the mistake... Not going to lie: it undermined you, Julie. I lost a bit of confidence in you there.)

Mature

• most valued yearbook contributor
• Bronze award for academics and extra caricular activities    (Well, Ms. Yearbook Editor, I hope you paid more attention to the spelling in the yearbook than you did with this letter. Also, the inconsistency of capitalization at the beginning of these bullet points...)
• makes own money and pays for everything except medical needs etc. (Which, lucky for them, the government picks up; so you were a freebie for our parents!)
• doesn't smoke,    (Commas do not ever end bullet points. I'd like to inspect the yearbook you edited next time I'm over, please.)
• doesn't drink    (... doesn't tell the truth...)
• doesn't do drugs
• hasn't had allowance since 15
• handles work, school and soccer at once

expectations (Seriously? Underlined title without a capital?)

I want to be able to spend time with my friends. All of my friends work and therefore the only time we are able to get together is at night. The majority of my friends don't have curfew's (Not the correct pluralization.) and those who do are at midnight. During the school year their curfew's are at 10pm. 4 of my friends have their G2's & I plan on getting mine by the end of the summer so transportation is no longer an issue (Oh, boom! I beat you at something; I got mine when I was sixteen!). All I ask for is permission to go out (And, apparently, to take the car after the end of the summer). I argue because your decisions aren't justified as there are no reasonable reasons for them (HATE that sentence.). When I have no obligations for the next day & I am not asking to be out all night, there's no good reason why I should have to stay in. I am basically the ideal daughter (LOVE that.), grades, job, sports, nice, I even have a boyfriend in case you worry I'm out picking up strangers or something (I'm very fond of the last two reasons). With teenagers, you have to give and take (Says the expert who has raised so many teenagers of her own). I give all I am able to give, there is nothing I can give or improve myself on (Your humility, I think, could stand some work.). When you have bad kids, you give them more slack & privliges (Close.), so why benefit the bad & punish the good? I want a midnight curfew, one o'clock on special occasions. I give no more screening in return (Your generosity, also, could probably be improved upon.).

It's a good effort, but I'd give your very first mark below a B for this. Do you remember if they went for it?

Hope you like this at least half as much as I did!

Love,

Sarah