When I Discovered I Was White

I've sat on writing this post since I began this blog.  It is one of the clearest memories I have as a child as it was such a revelation for me, but race is always a strange thing to talk about because it's so easy to offend, especially when I haven't been victimized by it.  That said this blog is about my memories, and this is my memorable memory as I remember it.

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I recall very clearly the day when it was revealed to me that people come in different colours.  Prior to that day, I don't believe it ever occurred to me.  Brampton was a wonderfully diverse city to grow up in and as my family was quite active in community sports, clubs, and activities, and went to a public school, we were well exposed to many different cultures from the very beginning.  Over the last few years Brampton has apparently gotten worse for gangs, violence, and cultural divide, but when I was young it was a very safe place to live. 

I was in Mrs Maynard's class...aka she whom did not give me a turtle...and the class was called to the carpet for a lesson.  One of the other children must have made some sort of a racist comment as Mrs Maynard began a very stern discussion that even though people's skin may be different, we are all the same inside.  She went on to tell us that sometimes people are judged because of what colour they are, and that is wrong.

I'm that nearly see-through kind

Wait.  What?  People were different colours?  I surveyed the class seated on the floor around me and was shocked to see how different everyone looked all of a sudden.  Shannon was white, and so was Matthew.  Natalie was black and Harman was brown.  I had gone to school with these kids for over a year now and never realized what colour they were.  It was sublimely awe-striking and a concept so bizarre that it just didn't make sense.  And yet...there it was.

Whatever else Mrs Maynard had to say flowed from one ear right out the other.  I was stuck on the suggestion that people were judged for what colour they were, even though they couldn't help it.  I like Shannon, but didn't like Matthew, and they were both white.  I like both Natalie and Harman----

WAIT!  What colour skin did I have???

I looked down nervously to discover that I was white.

And a huge wave of relief flooded me.

Despite just being told that everyone was the same no matter what colour they were, I already know within minutes that my life was going to be a lot easier that I was white.  It's hard to say exactly why I knew that, especially since I can't recall the rest of Mrs Maynard's lesson, but I remember clearly that one moment of complete relief knowing that I didn't have anything to worry about...all the bad things that she warned us about would not be directed at me...

(Interjection:  Okay, there I go being un-PC.  I know racism affects us all, and I know that white people can be racialized too.  This is just an account of my memory, and that was my honest 6-year-old reaction.)

These new revelations rocked my boat a little bit, but didn't change my life very much.  Shannon, Natalie and Harman (but not Matthew...I hated him) were all still my friends, but now I was conscious of our topical differences.